do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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