Sponge bath it is.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
