If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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