I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
