Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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