Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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