I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
