He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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