Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
