my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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