Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well I just put wine in my tea
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize