Sorry, I don't speak sober.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
