you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
