with your own penis?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
