where does the pee come out of this thing
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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