Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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