this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
