This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
