forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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