I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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