Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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