Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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