I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
