If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
