You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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