Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
