Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
