Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
