Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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