Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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