how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Randomize
