I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
