I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
