so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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