wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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