Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
