Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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