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just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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