Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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