6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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