your thong is hanging out like whoa
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He passed out mid-signature
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm getting married
To pizza
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
