Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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