the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
