Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
