just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
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buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
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Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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