Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
