Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize