How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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