She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
