Life is so much better after having sex.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize