Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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