You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize