If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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