youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
