Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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