He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
