Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
