Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
