Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my shit smells like andre
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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