what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
