I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he puts the penis in happiness.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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