I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
