She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
