Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
