I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize