I think I am morally bankrupt
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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